


Sorry

by Alberta_Sunrise



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Car Accidents, F/M, Feelings Realization, Major Character Injury, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sex, Smut, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:00:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28241286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alberta_Sunrise/pseuds/Alberta_Sunrise
Summary: Emma had been… Well she had been doing something with Javier for several months now and no matter how hard she’d tried to stop herself falling head over heals for him, she’d failed miserably.-Emma is a young agent posted to assist Javier Peña and Steve Muprhy in their hunt for Escobar. When she admits her feelings to Javier and he freaks out, it takes dire circumstances for him to admit how he really feels.
Relationships: Javier Peña/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

Emma had been… Well, she had been doing something with Javier for several months now and no matter how hard she’d tried to stop herself falling head over heels for him, she’d failed miserably. He was stood in her kitchen in just his jeans. Light from the streetlamps outside casting striped shadows across his toned chest through the blinds that hung on the windows as he sipped from his beer bottle. Emma lay on her couch, admiring him from her position as she took a swig of her gin and tonic. He noticed his eyes on her and grinned against the rim of his bottle, making this way down the steps from her kitchen to the lounge and sitting himself on the edge of the couch beside her and planting a soft kiss on her swollen lips. Pulling back he studied her with his dark eyes, her green ones doing the same as her bare chest heaved with desire. She could already feel the heat between her legs pooling again as he ran his cold fingers over her soft, supple flesh and brushed a thumb over her erect nipple. Sucking her bottom lip between her teeth she closed her eyes and let out a quiet moan, brow knitting together as his hand travelled lower and lower. Cupping her sex with his strong hand he grinned at her sudden gasp, quietly grunting as he slipped two fingers into her heat and curled them up against the spot he knew made her toes curl.

‘Fuck.’ she breathed, gripping the throw beneath her so tightly that her knuckles went white ‘Javi.’

The agent started to pump his fingers more vigorously, nibbling and kissing along her jaw as he listened to her sweet moans as he worked her closer and closer to completion. His hot breath fanned against her as his mouth worked his way along her neck, licking and kissing her soft skin as he growled in her ear.

‘Come on sweetheart.’ he whispered against the shell of her ear ‘Let go.’

Her back arched as he pushed his digits deeper, hitting that spot that made her whole body convulse with pleasure and she let out a guttural moan as he worked her through her orgasm. As her body stilled he brought his fingers to his lips, tasting her as he looked at her with dark eyes and watched as her chest heaved, lips slightly parted as she tried to calm her breathing.

‘I love you…’ she gasped as she managed to crack her eyes open.

Javier’s expression changed as he grabbed the bottle from the floor beside him and took a large swig, eyes focusing on the tv set opposite. His stomach twisted in a knot as he desperately tried to avoid her probing gaze. 

‘Shit Javi.’ she growled as she pushed herself up and pulled the throw around her shoulders ‘Don’t make it too obvious that you don’t feel the same.’ She growled as she angrily plucked her clothes up off of the ground and stormed into her bedroom.

‘Emma…’ he grumbled as he stood and traipsed across the lounge to her bedroom door ‘Emma look…’

‘What are we doing Javi?’ she growled, turning to face him with a face of thunder ‘We’ve been doing this for what.. 7 months now? I have dropped plans with friends, dates… all because you called. I have fought to keep my feelings for you buried but I can’t do it anymore. Do you feel anything for me?’

‘Of course, I do but it’s complicated…’

‘Complicated how? You either feel something for me or you don’t.’ she growled, her breathing heavy as she stalked up to him and locked her green orbs with his brown ones ‘I love you… I’m in love with you. That isn’t complicated. You need to decide what you want from me because I don’t want to waste my time… No matter how good the sex is.’ she finished as she shoved his shirt at him ‘You should go.’

Javi gave her a hurt look as he put his shirt back on, grabbing his keys and leaving without saying another word as the door slammed abruptly behind him. Emma let out a shaky breath as tears formed in her tired eyes, grabbing the desk beside her for support as her knees went weak and she started to sway. She couldn’t sleep that night, her mind running wild as she thought about how he had looked when she’d told him that she loved him and how hurt he’d looked when she told him to leave. After fighting to sleep for several hours she ended up giving in and going into the office, surprised to find she wasn't the only one that decided to come into work early. Javier and Steve arrived a few hours later, the blonde agent handing her a coffee like he did every morning with a smile but Javier had rushed past her; as if her gaze would set him ablaze. Steve hadn’t missed that either, giving Emma a look as he tilted his head to one side.

‘Something happened between you two?’ he asked.

‘I slipped up how I felt about him and he freaked.’ she replied, sitting back in her chair ‘Probably for the best.’

Steve said nothing, his eyes glancing at a nervous Javier in their office and letting out a deep sigh. Standing, he walked into the office he shared with Javier and closed the door, the other agent looking up at him nervously as his partner sat down at his own desk and started to wade his way through the paperwork that littered the tabletop. The hours seemed to flyby as Emma make her way through her own pile of paperwork, grimacing as she took a sip of her now-cold coffee. She jumped when Steve appeared in front of her desk, perching himself on the corner as he gave her an awkward look.

‘What?’ Emma gave him a grim look back.

‘You have an assignment.’ He started, scratching his chin as he glanced at Javier ‘La Quica has been spotted at what we believe is a bolthole, Javi wants to stake it out but I promised Connie that I wouldn’t be back late tonight… It’s our wedding Anniversary.’

‘Steve I can’t…’

Murphy stood up from her desk, giving her a sideways smile ‘Please… I’ll owe you.’

He didn’t wait for her to speak, skirting across the office back into the one he shared with Javier. Emma stood from her chair and started to walk towards the doorway, her ears picking up voices as Steve spoke.

‘So I can't join you for the stakeout tonight.’ he started, reading the paper in his hand ‘Emma’s going to join you though.’

At the sound of her name, she hid behind the pillar across from their door, her heart thrumming in her chest as she listened.

‘What?’ Javier growled ‘You can’t leave me with her.’ he spat, the statement like a knife between her ribs.

‘Javi are you really going to throw away some good because you’re scared?’

‘I’m not scared.’ he grumbled, taking an audible puff from his cigarette.

‘I’ve seen how you look at her.’

‘How do I look at her?’

‘Like a man who’s dying of thirst and she’s a cup of water.’ Steve replied, noticing out of the corner of his eye that she wasn’t sitting at her desk.

‘Shut up Murphy.’

‘So she told you she loved you…’ he continued ‘I know you love her.’

‘I don’t Steve… I don’t love her.’ he snapped, eliciting a pained sob from Emma.

Both agent’s head’s snapped up and saw as she stumbled out of the office, hand over her mouth as she tried desperately to stifle a sob. Javier wiped a hand over his face as his eyes drifted to Murphy, his heart in his throat as the sound of Emma’s pained sobs echoed in his mind.

‘Fuck Steve… How am I going to sit in a car with her tonight after she’s heard all of that?’ he growled, noticing Emma sit back at her desk.

‘Just suck it up Peña and do your job.’ Spat Steve as he grabbed his coat and keys ‘Apologise and move on. Stop being an asshole.’ he finished as he left, Javier watching him walk away before looking at Emma at her desk.

Stubbing out his cigarette he made his way over to her ‘We should head out.’ he said plainly, leather coat and keys in hand.

‘Fine but I’m driving.’ she spat, pulling her own keys out of her top drawer and pulling her coat over her narrow shoulders ‘ Let's go then, Agent Peña.’

§

They sat for hours in a stiff, awkward silence, neither agent looking at each other as they watched the house. There was little or no movement inside, shadows here and there as figures walked past the drawn curtains.

‘How much longer do we need to sit here.’ Emma growled, pouring some coffee from the thermos in her lap.

‘Just a little while longer.’

‘We’ve been sat here for hours Peña and seen nothing.’ She spat, taking a sip of the hot liquid ‘I know you have little better to do but I do.’

Her words stung but Javier glazed over them, his eyes fixed on the ramshackle building across the road from them. He knew she was right. They’ve been sat outside the house for four hours and seen no sign of La Quica.

‘Fine let’s go.’ he stated, buckling his belt back up and motioning for her to start the truck.

‘Thank god.’ stated Emma as she downed the last of her coffee and screwed the cup back on her thermos.

Turning on the truck and pulling off they made their way down the dark street in silence. Coming to a junction at the bottom of the road, bright white lights filling that dark car and induced them both to squint. The sound of a revving engine made Emma’s stomach drop and without thinking, she floored it. The bright lights followed them, chasing them through the empty roads.

‘Who are these fuckers?’ she growled, ducking down different streets in the hope of losing them.

‘I don’t know.’ replied Javier, his heart racing as he kept his eyes on the car chasing them.

When the lights disappeared they breathed a sigh of relief, slowing down in an attempt to get their bearings. They were surrounded in darkness and Emma realised they’d made their way into a wooded area, no sign of any other cars or people so the two agents allowed themselves to relax a little.

‘Shit that was scary.’ Emma breathed, resting her hand on her hammering heart.

She looked at Javier, shocked to find he was looking at her also, brow knitted together in concern and for a moment she forgot everything that had happened. His dark brown eyes glittered in the dim light as he studied her and she found herself losing herself in them. Why did he have this strong a hold on her?

‘You okay?’ he asked, a little breathy.

‘Yeah I’m fine.’ she replied, smiling as her head fell back against the headrest.

Her smile disappeared however when the headlight’s reappeared and started to move closer quickly before the vehicle slammed into the passenger side of her truck, throwing Javier towards her. The sound was terrible, metal crushing metal as the car pushed them closer and closer to the slope that sat a few feet to Emma’s left.

‘Shit.’ breathed the female agent as she realised what they were doing.

Slamming in foot down on the accelerator she sent them raging down the hill, a thick tree stopping them in their tracks and then everything went black.

§

Javier cracked his eyes open, the world spinning as everything returned to him in waves. As awareness returned his heart practically leapt out of his chest, looking left to see Emma unconscious beside him, blood covered the left half of her face and her head hanging limply to her right.

‘Emma?’ he asked, his heart quickening as he raised a shaky hand to feel for a pulse and breathing a sigh of relief when he found one ‘Come on honey wake up.’

She groaned as consciousness returned to her, scrunching her eyes as she felt her brain throbbing in her skull. Lifting her head she saw Javier’s bloodied face looking back at her, eyes filled with concern.

‘You with me.’

‘Yeah.’ she groaned, running her fingers over the gash on his head ‘You’re hurt.’

‘So are you.’ Javier replied as he motioned to her own head wound.

Unbuckling her belt Emma pushed her door open and stumbled outside, gasping at the state of her car as she looked up the hill and saw that they were completely alone.

‘Looks like they scarpered’ she stated she opened her trunk and pulled out the torch she kept there for emergencies ‘We need to call someone.’ she stated as she clambered back in the car, turning on the torch so she could search for either of their phones.

She shone the light in her footwell, slowly moving it across the car until she spotted one down by Javier’s feet.

‘Javi there’s a phone’s by your feet.’ she stated, pointing the torch at it.

‘I see it.’ he replied as he started to lean forward, the movement eliciting a pained scream from him and making Emma’s blood run cold.

‘Javi?’ she asked, her voice shaking as she shone her torch over him and spotted blood soaking through his shirt ‘Shit.’

She wasted no time leaping out the car and making her way around to his side, somehow managing to pull the mangled door open and gasping at what greeted her. An ugly, jagged piece of metal stuck out from his side, the blood oozing from it soaking into his slightly ripped jeans.

‘Shit shit shit.’ Her heart stuttered in her chest as she threw her hands up to her head and grabbed a fistful of hair.

‘What is it?’ he asked, seemingly unaware of his wound as he looked her squarely in the eyes.

She grabbed his face in her hands and held their gaze, hands shaking as she formed the words carefully in her tongue.

‘Nothing Javi.’ she stated ‘Just a scratch.’ Giving him an unconvincing smile.

‘You called me Javi.’ he paused, sucking in a pained breath through gritted teeth ‘Must be bad if you’re calling me that again.’

‘Shut it Peña.’ she growled as she grabbed the phone from beside his boot and dialled in the only number she could think of ‘Steve it’s Emma. We uh… we got into a little trouble. The car’s totalled and Javier’s hurt.’

She paused, her eyes locked with Javier’s again as she listened to Steve speak, noting that his skin was pale and a small layer of sweat glistening on his face.

‘I don’t know where we are.’ she replied, her stomach twisting in knots ‘We’re in some woodland area, we can’t be far from the house we were staking out… Woah Javi keep your eyes open.’ she said as she shook his shoulder

Javier could feel himself losing the battle to stay awake, lids heavy as he tried desperately to lift his head and look at his partner. Her hand cupped his cheek as she continued to talk to Steve down the phone.

‘Shit Steve… she breathed as she wedged the phone between her face and her shoulder and pushed two fingers against his neck ‘Steve I think he’s going into shock.’ she paused again, desperately trying to keep him away ‘Okay hurry.’ she finished as she put down the phone.

‘C-cold.’ Javier said suddenly, his breathing getting shallow and ragged ’S-so c…cold.’

‘Javier you need to stay with me.’ Emma pleaded, tears prickling her eyes as she watched him slipping.

’S-sorry.’

‘What for?’ she asked, giving him a bemused look.

‘For w-w-what, I s…said.’ he stuttered, letting out a pained groan ‘I d-do.’

‘You do what partner?’ she asked, stroking his cheek with her thumb.

‘Love y-you.’ he finished, his eyes rolling back and his body going limp.

‘Javi?’ Emma asked, tapping his cheek lightly ‘Javi wake up.’ She continued her tone panicked ‘Come on don’t leave me. Please stay with me… I love you please.’ she sobbed as she felt bile rushing up her throat, two fingers monitoring his weakening pulse as she watched and waited for any sign of Murphy.

‘Come on Steve… hurry.’


	2. Chapter 2

It hadn’t taken Steve long to find them, radioing his position to the search bloc and requesting medical back up upon seeing the state Emma’s truck was in down the hill. When he was confident they would be able to find them he made his way down the steep slope, his heart racing as he approached the female agent that sobbed openly next an open mangled car door, his partners tears making his stomach drop.

‘No.’ he breathed, finally making it to Emma’s side and throwing his hand to his mouth at what he saw.

Javier’s face was covered in blood, the precious liquid coating his lips and soaking his orange polo to the point where the original colour was barely visible. His partner was a mess. He fought to control the wave of emotions that washed over him, turning his head to take in his female partner who was stood beside him. She had a cut along her hairline that had painted the right side of her face red, her skin was a little paler than normal and her eyes were wide and wild. He placed a hand either side of her face and turned her head to look at him, stomach twisting at the sight of her obvious distress.

‘Emma I need you to look at me.’ he ordered, wiping a stray tear with his thumb ‘Are you hurt anywhere else?’

‘W-we need to worry about… Javi he…’ She struggled to get her words out as her mind whirled.

‘Help is coming for Javier.’ he stated, his tone becoming stern as he tried to pull Emma’s attention to him ‘I need to know if you are hurt okay?’

Emma hadn’t stopped to see whether she whether or not she had anything worse than her bump on the head. As the adrenaline wore off, the pain started to trickle through the cracks in her defences and she winced as she sucked in a breath. Broken ribs definitely. A burning pain travelled through her thigh and she looked down to see a deep, jagged gash that was bleeding steadily.

‘Emma?’ Steve’s voice tugged her back to reality, her body shaking as everything started to hit her all at once.

‘Ribs and my leg.’ she managed to utter as her legs gave out benath her, the male agent catching her before she fell to the floor.

‘Emma? Emma look at me.’ ordered Steve as he noticed her starting to drift ‘Emma I think you’re in shock. I need you to take a few deep breaths for me and try to focus okay? Now I need to slow the bleeding from your leg. This is going to hurt.’

Lowering her to the ground he leaned the agent against the truck before removing his shirt and tying it above the wound on her leg to slow the bleeding. The action eliciting a pained cry from her as her head thumped against the dented metal door at her back. 

‘Check on Javi…’ she pleaded, squeezing Steve’s hand ‘Please.’

The agent did as he was bid, tearing himself away from her and turning his attention to Peña. He looked dead, the only evidence proving otherwise being the ragged rise and fall off his chest. His eyes travelled to the sharp piece of metal that protruded from his partner’s side and noticing how it was still gushing blood at an alarming rate. 

‘Do you have a first aid kit?’ he asked Emma over his shoulder.

‘In the trunk.’ she replied, her tone pained but more focused.

Steve sprinted to the rear of the truck, opening the trunk and pulling out a large pack labelled with a large green cross on the top. He pulled out the blanket that was rolled up inside and ran back to Javier’s side. Carefully, he wrapped the material around the shard and placed as much pressure as he could without moving the object too much. This pulled Javier back to consciousness. The blood curdling scream that slipped from his lips made Steve and Emma shiver, the two agents exhanging a glance before Murphy returned his attention to his partner. 

‘I’m sorry brother.’ stated Murphy, smiling as Peña’s dark eyes cracked open and settled on him.

’S-Steve?’

‘Yeah it’s me Javi.’ he said ‘Help’s coming, I just need you to hold on for me okay?’

Javier coughed, thick blood splattering onto his chin as he tried to suck in a breath. His eyes scanned what he could immediately see and he noticed Emma was not in his eyeline His heart quickening as he looked at his partner with a panicked expression, his chest heaving. 

‘E… Emma.’

‘She’s right here buddy.’ he replied, motioning towards her with his head ‘She’s just resting. She got a little banged up like you’

The sound of a chopper blades filled the air and Steve breathed a sigh of relief, his eyes travelling to the craft that was landing on the clearing a little way down the hill. 

‘You hear that Javi? Helps here.’ stated the agent, shaking his partner whenhe noticed Peña’s eyes starting to droop.

Javier’s breathing became more laboured as copious amounts of blood started to pool in his mouth, his eyes flying open as panic rose within and he clawed at Steve’s arm. The agent could do nothing but watch as Javier struggled to do something as basic as breath, his eyes rolling back in his skull as he lost the battle to stay conscious.

‘No… No no no no no! Javi you need to stay with me. They’re just there Peña.’ Steve pleaded, watching as Carillo and a handful of medics approached with two stretchers ‘See Javi they’re coming.’ Steve’s stomach dropped as he looked back at his partner and saw that he wasn’t breathing anymore, shaking his shoulders he started to sob ‘Come on Peña breath.’ he growled, grabbing Emma’s attention.

‘Steve?’ she said as she tried to push himself to her feet ‘Steve what’s wrong.’

Steve didn’t respond and just held his hand up to stop her, not wanting to panic her more than she already was. The medics pushed him out of the way and went to work on Javier, placing a mask over his face and pumping air into his dormant lungs. The other medics got to work on Emma, packing her deep leg wound and placing her on the stretcher before lifting her and carrying her towards the chopper. She caught a glimpse of Javier as the medics worked on him and seeing one pumping an Ambu-bag whilst the other attempted to secure the shard of metal so they could move him.

‘Steve what are they doing?’ she asked as she glanced at him as he jogged beside her stretcher 'Why are they pumping air into him?' 

‘He's stopped breathing but he still has a pulse.’ he started as he watched them slide her into the craft ‘I’m gonna go back to him okay? I’ll be back.’

Emma nodded and watched as he sprinted back up the hill, ignoring the medics as they worked on her and watched the darkness for any sign of Steve and Javi. After what felt like an eternity the agents and the medics along with Carillo appeared. Quickly sliding the agent’s stretcher into the chopper they hopped inside, one of them fetching a large metal instrument and a tube whilst the medics that had been working on her jumped to their aid. She had to turn her head away as they intubated him, not being able to bear the sight of them sticking a tube down the throat of the man she loves. They attached the Ambu-bag to the tube and resumed pumping air into his lungs as they threw medical jargon in Spanish at one another, both agents only being able to understand the odd thing. The Chopper lifted off of the ground causing both agents to grab hold of each other for support at the sudden movement, Emma’s eyes now glued to Javier as they hooked him up to an ECG, her eyes catching the line jumping weakly on the screen.

‘How far out are we?’ Steve asked Carillo.

‘Ten minutes.’ the man replied, his gaze drifting to Emma as she took Javier’s limp hand in hers.

‘Stay with me Javi.’ Emma said sweetly as she placed a gentle kiss on his grazed knuckles ‘Don’t think you can duck out on us so easily. I remember what you said… You love me. Don’t tell me that and then leave me.’

Steve’s heart broke as he listened to her, his eyes travelling to the unconscious agent on the floor and shivering at the sight of the tube protruding between perfect teeth. He silently willed his partner to fight. He’d known that Javier was in love with Emma, a blind person could have seen it but he also knew that his partner was scared of how he felt for her. He remembered the conversation they’d had not long after they'd met about how Javier had almost gotten married, how he’d ducked out at the last minute. Steve knew this was different though. His attention was pulled back to reality by the sound of alarms blaring.

‘What’s happening?’ Asked Emma as Carillo pulled her back.

‘He’s coding.’ the man replied, holding her tightly as she fought his grip.

‘No… No, he’s not.’ she replied as she shook her head in disbelief ‘Javier please.’ she sobbed, burying her head into Carillo’s shoulder.

The medics started CPR as the chopper touched down on the hospital helipad. The doctors and nurses were already awaiting their arrival and they made swift work of transferring Javier onto a gurney and getting him inside, one doctor straddeling him as the continued CPR. The remaining medical staff then got Emma onto a gurney, strong hands held her down as she thrashed and cried, her eyes wildly searching for Javier.

‘Emma you need to calm the fuck down or they’ll sedate you.’ stated Steve, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder ‘Carillo is with Javi. He'll make sure he's okay but the doctors need to attend to your leg and your other injuries.’

‘I can’t leave him.’ she sobbed, her heart aching as the alarms still echoed in her head ‘Steve I can’t lose him.’

‘And you won’t’ he replied as she smiled at her.

Allowing herself to calm she felt herself crash. The adrenaline of the evening's events wore off. Her eyes grew heavy and exhaustion took hold, Steve’s face smiling down at her was the last thing she saw before everything went dark.

§

Emma cracked her eyes open as the smell of disinfectant and the soft beeps of hospital equipment assualted her senses, groaning as the pain hit her also.

‘You with me partner?’ came a familiar voice.

She rolled her head towards it, eyes greeted by a familiar blonde and she smiled as he grinned at her.

‘Hi.’ she croaked, pushing herself up slightly and wincing at the pain the movement brought.

‘Hey.’ he replied as he stood and poured her some water ‘Here.’ he said, handing her the plastic cup ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Like I was in a car accident.’ she joked, taking a few sips before handing it back to him ‘How long was I out?’

‘Few hours.’ He replied, placing it down beside her ‘They’ve fixed you up real nice. You have a nasty concussion and you lost a lot of blood but they’re confident that you can be discharged in the next few days as long as you don't develope an infection or something.’

Emma gave him a quick nod, letting her head fall back against the pillow as she squeezed her eyes shut, her brain throbbing in her head. Her mind raced through what she could remember, her heart quickening as images of Javier bleeding out in her truck assaulted her eyes.

‘Javi!.’ Her head snapped up as she looked at Steve ‘Where is he?’

The agent's expression changed, wiping a hand over his face he stood and walked to her bedside.

‘He got out of surgery around half an hour ago.’ he started, taking her hand as he formed his next words carefully ‘They managed to get him back before they operated but he crashed again during surgery. They got him back but he’s in a bad way, they told me to prepare you. There's a good chance he won't make it through the night.' 

‘That’s bullshit Murphy!’ she spat ‘He’s going to be fine… He… He told me he loved me. He’s not going to tell me that then die on me. He wouldn’t do that!’

Steve went to hug her but a hand stopped him in his tracks.

‘Take me to him.’

‘I can’t, you need to rest. You can see him tomorrow.’

‘Take me to see him now Agent Murphy!’ she snapped, eyes like thunder ‘Either you take me or I will go on my own.’

Steve didn’t bother to argue further. Grabbing the wheelchair from the corner of her room he helped her into it and as Emma held onto her IV, Steve pushed her through well-lit hallways. Carillo stood guard outside a room Emma assumed Javier was in, the Colonel giving them a nod before pushing the door open for them as they slipped past. There were machines everywhere. Tubes and wirea covered the agent’s prone form making him look tiny beneath the thin green blanket that covered his lower half.

‘Oh Javi.’ she sobbed as Steve pushed her to his bedside.

She took him in. His top half was bare except for the dressings and wires, hooked up to machines that threw out information out that they didn’t understand. His skin was a little less pale, no longer glittering with sweat. His face wasn't painted in blood anymore and the cuts on his face were now framed with dark black bruises. Steve had seen his partner soon after he'd left his surgery, the sight of him being kept alive by machines made him sick to the stomach and he’d decided to stay with Emma instead, unable to bear the sight. He’d called Connie just before he’d gone to see his female parter, letting her know what had happened and where he was. So he wasn’t surprised when she appeared through the door, shock plastered all over her face as she pulled Steve into a hug before walking over to Emma and bending down to embrace her also.

‘I’m so glad you’re okay.’ she breathed as she locked eyes with the female agent ‘Steve told me what happened and I was straight in the car.’

‘Thank’s Connie.’ Emma replied, giving her a genuine smile as she wiped away a stray tear.

The two women had become pretty close since she’d started seeing Javier. The Murphy's had held quite a few couples dinners, over the moon that Peña had managed to settle for one woman. As time had gone on, the two women had even gone out on the town or held girls nights in, forcing Steve and Javier to busy themselves whilst they enjoyed themselves. So Connie’s presence brought Emma comfort, allowing herself to cry as she held Javier’s limp hand and give it a small squeeze. After a while, Emma was forced to leave, the nurses dragging her back to her room with Connie at her side. Steve had promised to stay with their partner and so Connie had opted to keep the female agent company. She lay down on the bed beside her a pulled Emma into her arms, holding her as she sobbed openly. Shushing in her ear in an attempt to soothe her.

‘He told me he loved me.’ said Emma suddenly, letting her head lean back so she could look at Connie ‘We had a fight last night. I told him I loved him and he freaked out. Steve confronted him about it at the office today and he said he didn’t feel the same but after the accident, he confessed that he did.

'It would take him being on death’s door to admit how he really feels.’ she jested, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

Connie chuckled, giving Emma a sweet smile as she looked her square in the eye.

‘It was obvious that he loved you.’ she stated, affectionately wiping away her friend’s tears ‘He’s an idiot… But he’s an idiot thats very much in love with you.’

‘I can’t lose him.’ Emma said, her expression changing as she spoke ‘He’s going to make it right?’

‘Of course.’ Connie replied with a smile ‘He’s stubborn. He’s not going to let a splinter get the best of him.’

She wasn’t sure whether her response was convincing but she hoped that she was right because if Javier didn’t make it, she wasn’t sure what Emma would do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long... hope it was worth the wait.

1 year earlier...

‘Agent Pena?? Are you serious?’ Emma growled at Steve as she slammed the file down on the table ‘He’s insufferable!.’

‘Emma...’

‘Why can’t it be you?’

‘Because I stick out like a sore thumb!’ He stated as he placed a cigarette between his lips, taking a long drag.

‘And I don’t?!’ She spat ‘I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m the definition of a white girl.’ She finished as she motioned to herself.

‘Look it’s just for a few days.’ He stated ‘You’re both there to infiltrate this particular group. None of them knows what either of you looks like. Play the happy couple, gain their trust and see if you can obtain any useful intel.’

‘If we’re doing this we need separate rooms!’ She growled as she lit her own cigarette and took a shaky drag, blowing the smoke over her shoulder.

‘That will look too suspicious.’ He stated, giving her a grim look. ‘Emma, please... We need something! We’re chasing our tails here. It took a lot of convincing on my part to get the boss to agree to this operation, she asked that you go on it with Javi to keep him in line.’

‘Fine.’ Emma growled finally, swiping up the file and stuffing it into her bag ‘You owe me Murphy.’

‘That I do.’ He grinned, giving her a friendly clap on the arm before raising from his perch on the edge of her desk and walking to his own.

§

The hotel was fancier than anything Emma had ever stayed in. The entire entrance seemed to be carved out of a single piece of Marble. Rich furnishings lining the walls with tall, exotic plants adding a touch of colour and she found herself in awe at the luxury of the place. Javier placed his hand on the small of her back, leading her to the check-in desk where smiling faces stood ready to greet them. The agent gave the concierge their alias’, quickly glancing at Emma and placing a soft kiss on her cheek before graciously accepted their room key. The attendant called over the bag boy who placed their luggage on a large gold trolley, graciously leading them to their room and placing it inside the large room for them. They gave the man their thanks and watched as he hurried from the door, throwing each-other an awkward glance before inspecting their surroundings. 

‘You take the bed.’ Stated Javier after a while as he unpacked his bag into the large chest of drawers that sat proudly opposite the four-poster bed ‘I’ll take the couch, looks big enough.’

‘Thank you .’ Emma answered plainly as she waited for him to finish.

‘I think we should start at the pool.’ He said as he pulled out some burgundy swim trunks ‘You brought a bathing suit I assume?’

‘Yes.’ Emma growled, watching him as he made his way to the large bathroom.

‘Good. Get ready. We’ll head down in ten.’

When Javier emerged from the bathroom he was met with the sight of Emma in a black Bikini, tying a skirt around her slim waist before finishing her ensemble off with a shawl over her narrow shoulders. She could feel Javier’s gaze on her, feeling her cheeks flush a little before she returned his gaze.

‘Shall we?’ She stated plainly, swiping the key up and throwing it to her partner before making her way to the door.

Emma had instantly made a b-line for the sun-loungers, seeing several of the target’s wives also soaking in the sun and Javier had followed without question. When they were settled, Pena made his way to the bar, watching their targets as they admired Emma from where they sat near the pool. He ordered himself a whiskey and her a Gin and Tonic, his heart rate increasing a little as he saw one of their targets, one he knew to be single, approach his partner.

‘Hola.’ Said the target as he stood over the agent, eyes studying her as she pulled down her sunglasses.

‘Hello.’

‘American huh?’ He asked, grinning at her as he ran his tongue along his bottom lip.

‘Canadian.’

‘Ah.’ He paused, his eyes settling on her green ones ‘Never met a Canadian. Are you married?’

‘No.’ She replied plainly, fighting to hide her disgust ‘But my boyfriend is at the bar fetching our drinks.’

‘Boyfriend huh?’

‘Si... Novio’ (Yes.... Boyfriend.) Stated Pena as he sat down beside her, handing her the drink he’d gotten and placing a hand on her thigh.

‘Lo siento mi amigo.’ (Sorry my friend) the target replied, giving them a curt not and walking away.

‘You okay?’ He asked, his genuine concern taking her by surprise.

‘Yes.’ She replied.

‘He’s still staring at you.’ Stated Javier, watching them from the corner of his eye.

‘Yes.’ She said, shuddering from his gaze.

Pena crashed his lips against hers, wrapping his free hand around the back of her neck and pulling her closer. His tongue ran along her bottom lip, urging entry which she granted and their tongues danced. When they pulled away they noticed that they were no longer being watched, the kiss doing what it needed to. Emma took a large swig of her drink, trying to calm the fire that had started in her belly.

‘Was that completely necessary?.’ She said under her breath, giving him a look that made him shiver.

‘It needed to be believable.’ He grumbled back, taking a sip of his whiskey ‘They’re not going to believe a peck on the lips now are they.’

‘Hmph.’ Emma exhaled as she leaned back in her and pushed her shades back up her nose.

They managed to keep the facade up over dinner, Emma going as far as visibly running her healed foot up and down Javier’s leg as she laughed at his jokes. They had grabbed the attention of their targets, the men and their wives watching the two of them coo over each other. Finally, the man that Javier knew to be the senior sicario and a close friend Escobar approached their table, his wife beside him smiling at them sweetly.

‘I wanted to apologise for my man’s interference in your day earlier.’ He started, wrapping his arm around his wife’s slim waist ‘I’m Julian and this is my wife Alexis.’ he finished, holding his hand out to Javier.

‘Pedro.’ He replied, shaking the man’s hand ‘This is my partner Alice.’

‘Pleasure.’ He replied, taking Emma’s hand and placing a friendly kiss on it ‘My man tells me you’re Canadian?’

‘That’s right.’

‘Where?’

Javier looked at her, heart speeding up a little as he waited for your reply.

‘Muskoka.’ She replied, smiling at him sweetly ‘My father grew up in Montreal but couldn’t wait to leave. I was fortunate enough to grow up surrounded by lakes.’

‘Sounds wonderful.’ Replied Julian, eyes flitting between them both.

‘We would love it if you could join us tomorrow.’ Stated Alexis, her British accent taking them both by surprise ‘It would be lovely to get to know you both.’

‘We would be delighted.’ Replied Emma, smiling at them before turning her gaze to Javier.

‘Si... Nos encantaria.’ (Yes... We would love to) replied Javier, shaking the man’s hand again.

§

Emma couldn’t get the kiss she and Javier had shared out of her mind as she lay there staring at the textured ceiling above. The memory of his lips on hers still haunted her flesh, reigniting the fire in her loins as her mind ran through it over and over. Rolling her head to the side she could see the moonlight illuminating Javier’s strong features, listening to his deep, even breathes and determining that he was fast asleep. Trapping her bottom lip between her teeth she allowed her hand travel past the waistband of her sleep-shorts, fingertips brushing over the sensitive bundle of nerves between her legs as she sucked in a breath. Her movements were slow at first, the heat in her core building steadily as she felt herself edging ever closer to her peak. Her breathing quickened as her fingers started to move faster, start dancing in front of her eyes and her back arching as she fell apart at the seams. Coming down from her high her eyes trailed over to her partner, still lying in the same position he had been before and she breathed a sigh of relief. Her eyes finally growing heavy. She fell into a dream-filled sleep.

§

‘You must tell us how you both met!’ Exclaimed Alexis happily as she sat sipping cocktails with Emma, the agent looking over her shoulder at Javier as she smiled sweetly.

‘It’s not a particularly romantic story.’ Chuckled Emma, smiling at the other woman.

‘Oh please.’ She pleaded, giving her a toothy grin as she sipped her drink.

‘It was in a bar in Bogota.; She replied, taking a swig from her own drink ‘He asked if he could buy me a drink, we got to talking and I ended up going home with him... and we’ve been together since.’

‘That’s sweet.’ She replied, smirking at the agent as she finished her drink.

‘You’re too polite.’ Emma chuckled, ‘I told you it wasn’t romantic.’

‘You two seem head over heels for each other though.’ She stated, catching Javier looking at Emma from across the way.

The agents gaze followed her companions and came to settle on her partner, a small smile crossing her lips as her green orbs locked with his brown ones.

‘Yeah...’ she replied, tilting her head a little before breaking eye contact with him ‘Yeah we are.’

§

They ended up spending the rest of the evening and the following day with the couple. Javier gaining Julian’s confidence whilst Emma gained Alexis’ trust. As the evening came around they joined Julian and his entourage for dinner and drinks, the tongues of his men getting looser with each drop. As the night wore on, the grouped thinned out and people started to retire, eventually leaving a few couples drinking beside the pool.

‘Swim mi amor?’ Asked Javier, pulling off his shirt and laying it out on his chair.

Emma nodded, pulling off her shawl and skirt before taking his hand and gingerly stepping into the water, surprised by how warm it was. They made their way deeper into its depths, Javier grabbing Emma’s arms and placing them on his shoulders before resting his on her waist. He could feel eyes on them, laying a sweet kiss on her lips before guiding her to the edge of the pool and away from unwelcome ears. Emma gasped as her shoulders came in to contact with the concrete edge, eyes dropping to Javier’s lips before returning his eyes.

‘Learn anything of use?’ She whispered in his ear, running her hands through his dark curly hair.

‘Yes.’ he replied, shivering at the sensation of her breath fanning the shell of his ear ‘Enough to make this exercise worthwhile.’

‘Good.’ Emma breathed, biting her lip as he placed his soft lips on her neck before setting on he came to her jaw ‘Javi.’

‘Parece que Pedro no puede esperar para follar con su linda rubia.’ (It seems that Pedro can't wait to fuck his pretty blonde) jested one of them, eliciting a growl from Javier.

‘Play along.’ Whispered Emma in his ear as she pulled her head back and crushed her lips against his, kissing him with a carnal hunger she didn’t know she was capable of.

Pulling away, Pena looked at her with eye’s she’d never seen before, panting as he ran his thump along his bottom lip.

‘If you’ll excuse us... I think we’ll retire.’ Stated Emma with a mischievous grin.

They left to a roar of cheers and wolf whistles, neither agent looking at one another as they made their way back to their room. They stood in awkward silence for a little while, Emma fiddling with her hands as she thought about what to say to her partner.

‘I should shower.’ She started suddenly as she stepped towards the bathroom ‘I won’t be long.’

‘Okay.’ He replied plainly, his own mind racing as he replayed that kiss over in his head. ‘That kiss was... you were very convincing.’ He said suddenly, stopping Emma in her tracks.

‘As were you.’ She replied, stepping into the bathroom and turning on the taps in the shower.

Stepping under the hot water she tried to wash the thoughts of Pena from her minds, her hand unconsciously settling on her neck as she remembered his lips pressing kisses on the smooth flesh there. _What’s wrong with me?_ She thought to herself _This is Javier! You detest him._ Closing her eyes she let her mind wander to how she’d kissed him, the embers in her belly starting to smoke as she thought about his tongue dancing with hers. She jumped as she felt hands come to rest on her hips, spinning on her heels to find Javier looking at her with lust-filled eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, gazes flitting between each-other’s lips and eyes. Javier was the first to make a move, pushing her roughly up against the cold tiles as his mouth devoured hers before placing hungry kisses down her neck and over her breasts.

‘Javi.’ She breathed, closing her eyes and allowing her head to fall back against the wall as his lips travelled lower until he was on his knees before her.

Grabbing her left leg, he placed it over his shoulder as he kissed and marked the inside of her thigh with his mouth, running two fingers along her folds he grinned at how wet she was for him already. He said nothing. Plunging two fingers deep into her core as his mouth devoured her he moaned as he pleasured her with his talented tongue, spurred on by her firm grasp on his hair as he worked.

‘Fuck...’ Emma breathed, placing her hand on the wall beside her for support as her legs started to shake.

It only took a few month pumps of his fingers and swipes of his tongue to sent her over the edge, falling apart as she moaned loudly. Rising to his feet, he pinned her against the wall again and kissed her with an animalistic passion, Emma’s arousal growing as she tasted herself on him. Grabbing her hips a spun her around, grinding his erection against her ass as he kissed her neck and shoulder, biting her in a spot that made her toes curl before bringing his lips to her ear.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ He asked, his deep baritone making her shiver with desire.

‘No.’ She wined, hands slapping against the wall as she bent over for him.

Javier wasted no more time, entering her with one swift movement that made Emma cry out in delight as he filled her completely. He wasn’t slow. He wasn’t soft. Grabbing her blonde hair he yanked her head back as he pounded her, his roughness bringing her closer and closer again as he continued to hit that spot. For was felt like hours he fucked her, the sound of their panting and skin slapping against skin being all that filled the streamy bathroom. Using one hand for support, she let her other one travel down between her legs, rubbing her sensitive nerves as she felt herself getting close.

‘Javi... I’m gonna...’

She practically screamed as her orgasm hit her like sack of bricks, her walls contracting around him sending Pena overboard with her and they collapsed on the ground together in a tangle of limbs. When they’d finally managed to drag themselves out of the shower they retired to bed, Javier making love to her a further two more times before they finally succumbed to sleep. Little did they know that this was the start of something much greater than they realised.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long. Things have been a little crazy! Hope it was worth the wait :)

Emma didn’t leave his side. She herself was kept in for a few days after the accident but after being discharged and told to hobble on crutches whilst her leg healed, she then stuck at Javier’s side. Sometimes she’d talk to him, sometimes she’d just sit there and watch as his ventilator pushed air into him. Steve and Connie spent a lot of time with her and him also. They made sure she ate, drank and had clean clothes the change into as she refused to leave the hospital. The nurses had allowed her to use their showers so she could keep clean and one had even taken it upon herself to keep an eye on the agent’s leg wound to ensure it wasn’t infected. Days drifted into weeks and Peña was showing no signs of waking, just remaining in the same condition each day. Not getting worse… but not getting better. The room was now cloaked in a dim blue hue as evening fell over the hospital. Emma sat with Javier’s hand in hers, smiling to herself as old memories flooded her thoughts.

‘You remember how we ended up together?’ she started, rubbing his knuckles with her thumb ‘Despite you screwing my brains out on that undercover mission we somehow went back to just being colleagues after. I remember how angry I was with you. Thinking that it had all meant nothing to you.

‘Only to find out that it had meant just as much to you as it did me… You were just an idiot and got scared. Just wish it hadn’t taken you six months to figure it all out.’

She chuckled to herself, bringing his hand to her lips and placing a soft kiss on his fingers. She let her eyes drift to his face. The bruises were yellowing and the swelling had all but gone down, all evidence of the accident disappearing from his features day by day.

‘Steve told me he and Connie had seen us from the dance floor.’ She started again, trapping her lip between her teeth ‘Probably shouldn’t have chosen such a public place to hash things out.’ she giggled as her mind drifted back

§

6 months earlier…

‘Come and dance.’ squealed Connie, her inebriation evident in her tone.

‘Connie… There is not enough alcohol in the world.’ Emma chuckled, throwing a sideways glance at Javier beside her ‘Javier will keep me company. Go. Dance with your goofball husband.’

Without another work Connie grabbed Steve’s hand and dragged him to the dance floor, throwing her arms around his shoulders as they attempted to dance together. Javier watched them for a few minutes before glancing at his partner who was nursing her 4th glass of wine.

‘You’re okay to be alone with me now hmmm?’ he said, scooting closer to her so that he didn’t have to shout over the music.

‘I’m not going to have this conversation with you here Javi.’

‘You’ve practically avoided me for the last 6 months. I was surprised that you agreed to come tonight.’

‘Steve didn’t tell me you were coming.’ Snapped Emma, her eyes remaining fixed on the married couple.

‘Right…’

‘You really want to know why I’ve been giving you the cold shoulder all this time?’

‘Wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.’

‘We fucked…’ she said plainly ‘A lot.’

Javier’s expression changed, brows knitting together as his eyes darkened and he titled his head to the side, waiting for her to continue.

‘It meant something to me, Peña. I don’t just go around fucking men for the sake of it but I know for you I was just another conquest. It’s just been…’

‘You weren’t another conquest.’ He interrupted, expression softening

‘What?’ His response had left her dumbstruck, lips parted slightly in shock.

‘I didn’t know what you wanted.’ he continued, taking a swig from his beer ‘I… I got freaked out by how I felt about you and didn’t want to pursue you in case you rejected me.’

‘Bullshit.’

‘It’s not.’ he shuffled closer again, resting his hand on her knee as he looked at her with the most sincere expression she’d ever seen ‘I’m crazy about you Em… Can’t get you out of my head… But I don’t do this. I don’t know how to explain it.’ 

‘Then show me.’ Emma was taken back by her boldness, her eyes settling on his lips.

In the blink of an eye, he’d closed the distance between them, their lips crashing together as Javier’s hand travelled further up Emma’s thigh and under the skirt of her dress. Tangling her fingers in his hair she pulled him closer, moaning in his mouth as his tongue pushed passed her lips and danced with her own. Her heart started to pound against her ribs as his fingers brushed over her panties making her core ache for him, shivering in pleasure as they travelled to the waistband and passed it. He groaned at how wet she was for him as he rubbed circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves between her legs.

‘Fuck.’ she groaned against his mouth as she squeezed her eyes shut, tightening her grip on his hair.

Grinning, he slipped his hand lower and in one swift movement, pushed two fingers deep into her heat and making her gasp. He curled his fingers up as he slipped them in and out, his movements hard and fast as he brought her closer and closer to the orgasm she now craved. Their kiss got more sloppy and heated, teeth clashing as she climaxed, moaning against his lips as he worked her through the waves of pleasure. Without thinking Emma straddled him, kissing him deeply again as her hips rocked against his.

‘I need you,’ she whispered in his ear, practically squealing with need.

‘Not here.’ he breathed.

The booth they were in was pretty dark and tucked away but not completely private and he knew Connie and Steve could be back any minute. He groaned when he felt her hand palm the bulge between his legs, grinning as she bit her lip and looked at him with a devilish expression.

‘Scared?’ She asked as she unbuckled his belt and opened his jeans, wrapping her hand around his length freeing it from the confines of his jeans.

It only took a few pumps of her wrist to drive him to insanity, grabbing her hips and guiding himself into her. They both gasped as he filled her completely, his hands guiding her movements as she started to rock her hips back and forth. He was hitting that spot again and her toes curled. She knew it wouldn't take her long before she went but she wanted him to too. She kept her movements hidden well but she was quickly bringing him closer to his peak, their lips smashing together as they felt their warmth developing inside their bellies.

‘Javi I…’

‘Me too.’

They moaned against each other as their orgasms hit in unison, Emma slumping against him as she fought to regain her breath. She helped him tuck himself back in before sitting down beside him with her legs over his lap, smiling as Connie and Steve finally joined them again. The couple said nothing about what they saw, just continued their conversations with the duo like before.

§

Present day...

‘That was probably the wildest thing I have ever done.’ she sniggered, eyes resting on his hand again.

‘I still can’t believe you fucked Peña in that club.’ Sniggered Steve as he walked in, Connie just behind him ‘It was also unbelievably obvious what the two of you were up to.’

‘Shut up Steve it wasn’t that obvious.’ Growled Connie as she slapped his arm ‘I didn’t realise till you pointed it out to me.’

‘Okay let's move on…’ interrupted Emma ‘Please.’ She pleaded.

The couple chuckled as Connie lowered herself to the female agents level to give her a hug whilst Steve placed this evening’s dinner on the table opposite Javier’s bed.

‘How’s he doing today?’ asked Murphy, stuffing a fork into one of the take out boxes and handing it to Emma.

‘Still the same.’ she replied, giving Steve a nod in thanks as she took the food.

Connie flicked through his charts, eyes flitting from side to side as they skimmed over the letters and numbers scattered across the page.

‘Well looks to me like he’s improving a little.’ she stated, placing the chart back down and smiling.

‘Just feels like the longer he remains unconscious the less likely it is he’ll wake up.’ Emma stated as she prodded at her food with the plastic fork.

‘You need to have a little faith.’ Connie said softly as she pulled a chair up beside her friend ‘He went through major surgery, it takes a while for the body to recuperate from having hands rummaging around inside. He lost a lot of blood too. Just give him time. The fact he’s still with us is a good sign, considering his chances when he first came in.’

‘I know… I just…’

‘It’s going to be okay.’ said Connie softly, giving her arm a friendly rub ‘Trust me he’s gonna make it.’

§

Javier woke up a few days later. Emma had broken down when she finally saw his dark brown eyes starting up at her through hooded lids. He’d been pretty out of it the first couple of days, the drugs taking almost every ounce of cognisance out of him but Emma sat by his side each day and waited.

‘You know I’m really starting to miss your smart ass remarks Javi.’ she said softly, laying next to him in the hospital bed as he slept soundly ‘This stoned Peña’s a tad boring.’

She got a groan in reply. The sudden noise making her jump as she pushed herself up slightly in order to look at him better.

‘You with me baby?’ she asked sweetly, stroking his hair as he weakly turned his head to face her.

‘Yeah.’ he replied with a nod, his voice barely a whisper as he blinked in order to focus his tired eyes.

‘Hey, you.’

‘Hey.’ he rasped, a small smile crossing his face as he looked up into her deep green eyes.

Emma shifted herself down the bed slightly, the movement pulling at her still-healing leg wound and she winced as her hand grabbed her thigh. Concern shot across the agents face as he watched his partner rub her leg, smiling at him as she let herself lay down again so their eyes were level.

‘You okay?’ he inquired, his voice getting stronger as he felt the fog clearing.

‘Hurt my leg in the accident.’ she replied, stroking his cheek with her thumb as she spoke ‘I’m okay though. Got off a lot better than you.’

‘H-how long?’

‘Just under three weeks.’ she replied, watching the subtle expressions that crossed his face as he soaked in the information ‘You were in a bad way Javi. We almost lost you before we even got to the hospital but you’ve come back to me now.’

She paused, placing a soft kiss on his lips before pulling back to look him square in the eye. There was more she needed to say, but she didn’t know how to broach it with him. After she’d woken in the hospital the nurse had informed her of something, something that she knew she couldn’t keep to herself. She just didn't know how to tell him. Javi studied her expression carefully, noting something in her green eyes that he’d seen only a few times before now and he was afraid to ask. She slipped off of the bed, grabbing her crutches and hobbling across the room to thermos Connie had brought in earlier. Resting precariously on the edge of the table she poured herself some and sipped the hot liquid, noticing Javier staring at her out of the corner of her eye.

‘I would offer you some but I’m not sure how I’d get it to you.’ she joked as she threw him an unconvincing smile, one that soon disappeared when she saw the expression on his face.

‘What aren’t you telling me?’ he rasped, his brows knitted together as he watched her hop over to the chair just behind her.

‘What do you mean?’ she asked innocently, taking another sip of coffee.

‘We’ve been together long enough for me to know when you're keeping something from me.’ he replied, tilting his head to one side.

‘It’s not something we need to worry about now.’ she stated, downing the last of her coffee and grabbing her crutches ‘We can talk about it when you’re more rested.’

‘I have been resting for three weeks.’ he growled a little, eyes following her as she made her way back to his bedside ‘’I told you I loved you. Doesn't that mean anything?’

‘Of course, it does,’ Emma argued, sitting down on the edge of his bed and throwing her arms up in exasperation ‘Javi I don’t want to argue with you.’

‘Then tell me what it is you’re hiding from me.’

‘Javi-‘

‘Spit it out.’

‘I’m pregnant!’

Javier’s jaw dropped. Any words that had sat on his lips were gone like a whiff of smoke. His expression changed to one Emma couldn’t read and her stomach dropped through the floor. She’d been floored by the information. She’d never thought about having children. She was a DEA agent, not exactly a job for an aspiring mother but could she get rid of it? It was Javier’s child too. He had a right to choose but she didn’t know what he’d do. What he’d say and that’s why she had decided not to tell him straight away. Give her a little time to think about what she wanted to say. Now though he did know and she was terrified about what was going to come next, his mouth moving but no words leaving his lips.

‘Javi please say something.’

‘H-how long?’

‘Have I known?’ he nodded and she took his hand in hers ‘I found out after I woke up from the accident. They’d run some tests and… well you can figure out the rest.’

‘And how far along?’ his that bobbed as he swallowed thickly.

‘A month or so.’ she replied, rubbing circles on the top of his hand ‘I’m not sure how but… well I am and we need to decide what we’re going to do about it.’

All he could do was nod, the shock settling in as he tried to rack his brains for what to say next. He could see the pain in Emma’s eyes the longer he remained silent and he wished he knew what to say, but he didn’t so he remained silent.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter has quite a time jump and its a little angsty but it gets better. Hope you enjoy :D

4 Months Later…

They told themselves it that had been a mutual decision. Neither of them was in a position to be parents. Neither of them was ready but it hadn’t made the choice any easier to stomach. Javier had remained in the hospital for another two weeks after he woke up, Steve and Connie being the ones to take him home and get him settled when he finally was discharged. Emma had gone to see him that evening, tried her hardest to behave like things hadn’t taken a massive shift but it didn’t take long for things to fall apart. When Peña had returned to work they’d managed to retain a civil relationship. The feelings hadn’t gone away but the pain was too much to work past.

‘So Connie mentioned about going for a few drinks on Friday?’ Steve said, glancing at his female partner in the driver's seat beside him ‘She’s missed hanging out with you lately.’

‘I’ve missed her too.’ she replied softly, rolling her head towards him and giving him a sad smile ‘It’s just been a bit weird… you know with Javi and the baby stuff. I haven’t really felt like being sociable.’

‘Hey look we get it.’ Replied Steve, throwing his hands up ‘But it’s Con’s birthday and I know she'd really appreciate it if you came. You could bring that fella you’ve been seeing… Joel?’

‘We’ve been on likes three dates Murphy.’ Emma replied, rolling her eyes at him.

Emma had met Joel around two months after things had ended with her and Javier. He’d taken her out for dinner first, then lunch and then dinner again which has been followed by drinks. When he’d kissed her she’d felt a tingle in her belly she hadn’t felt in a while and she’d instantly been plagued with guilt. She liked him. He was tall, dark, well built and incredibly kind to her but deep down she still loved Javier. She didn't get why. She’d seen women come and go from Peña’s place, clearly, he had no issues moving on but despite that, she felt guilty. She knew she needed to move on.

‘All the same, it would be nice to get out.’ he replied, giving her a friendly pat on the knee.

‘Is Javi going to be there?’

‘Yeah but please don’t let that put you off.’ he pleaded ‘All the more reason to bring Joel.’

‘Fine I’ll come but only because I love your wife so much.’ she replied with a smile.

Steve beamed back at her and he gushed about how happy Connie was going to be. Later that day Emma managed to grab Joel in passing, feeling her heart flutter a little as he gave her a sweet smile and a peck on the cheek.

‘So my partner Murphy has invited my to drinks for his wife’s birthday on Friday and asked if you’d liked to come?’ she asked as she placed a hand on his toned arm and felt a heat pool between her thighs.

‘Would you like me to come?’ he questioned, giving her a devilish grin.

‘I might want you to.’ she replied, licking her bottom lip as she let her green eyes lock with his brown ones.

‘Might isn’t an answer.’ he growled seductively in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

‘Yes.’ she breathed, closing her eyes at the feeling of his breath fanning against her neck.

‘Yes you’d like me to come?’ he asked as he pulled back so that he could look her squarely in the eyes again.

‘Yes I’d like you to come.’ she said as she took a step closer to him ‘We’re heading out at 8 so meet me at my place around then?’ She finished, smiling up at him sweetly.

‘It’s a date.’ he replied as he placed a chaise kiss on her lips ‘See you then.’ he finished as he stepped passed her.

She stood there for a moment starting at the spot he’d stood in, her stomach doing somersaults as she ran her fingertips over her lips as she looked up and then her stomach sank. Javier was stood there staring at her with the most wounded expression she’d ever seen and she felt like running away. Instead, she walked towards him and gave him a curt nod as she passed by, surprised when a hand grabbed her wrist and spun her around.

‘Who’s the suit?’ he asked, his dark eyes making her shiver.

‘None of your business Peña.’ she growled in reply.

‘I think I deserve to know if you’re fucking someone else.’ he spat,

‘I’m not fucking him and if that’s the case then so do I!!’ she growled, pulling her wrist out of his grasp ‘Or did you think I’d missed the whores coming to visit?’

His expression changed then to one she had no trouble reading and finally, she didn’t feel any guilt. Turning on her heels, she left him to ponder her words as the dust settled in her wake.

§

She’d gone with a classic little black dress for the occasion with grey heels and dark green eye makeup. Even she couldn’t deny she looked amazing as she touched up her lipstick before looking over her shoulder as three soft knocks came from the front door. She quickly sprinted to the door and opened it to reveal Joel stood there in a pair of dark blue jeans, a fitted burgundy shirt tucked in. It fitted him perfectly, clinging to his muscles in a way that made the agent’s mouth go dry.

‘Well I feel underdressed.’ he joked as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

‘No, not at all.’ Emma replied, her eyes drifting to his ‘You look… g-great.’ she stuttered, scorning herself for her nerves.

‘I’m glad you think so.’ he replied as he stepped inside whilst Emma rushed to find her bag and keys.

‘You ready to go?’ came a familiar female voice and Emma turned to see Connie smiling at her.

‘Yeah, one minute.’ She replied as she grabbed her keys and purse.

Stepping out of the apartment she locked the door behind her and turned, locking eyes with Javier who was looking at her in a way he’d not done so for a while.

‘We thought we’d get a taxi.’ squealed Connie with excitement as she threw an arm around Emma’s waist and pulled her close ‘That way no designated driver.’

Emma’s stomach twisted a little at this. She’d not discussed with Joel whether or not he was going to stay but as they stepped towards the minivan that sat waiting for them she decided to cross that bridge when it came to it. The car journey was a little awkward with Connie being squished between Steve and Javier as Joel and Emma sat in the front with the driver. Connie had been able to feel the rage radiating off of Peña as he smoked out the window of the cab, anything not to look at his ex and her new squeeze in the front. Ten minutes later they had arrived at the bar and by chance managed to grab the last booth in the place. After a few drinks, the tension started to ease and the conversation started to flow with even Javier getting involved from time to time. As the night went on and more drinks were consumed Connie found herself dragging Steve up to the dance floor, a sense of De Ja Vu washing over Emma as she watched them dance together.

‘Fancy a dance?’ asked Joel, giving her a sweet smile.

‘We can’t leave Javi here on his own.’ she replied, nodding towards her partner who was sat opposite.

‘I don’t mind.’ he replied, a small smile crossing his face as he looked at her.

‘See he’ll be fine.’ stated Joel as he stood and pulled her with him ‘Come… dance with me.’

‘Ugh okay.’ she grumbled, rolling her eyes ‘One dance.’ she finished holding up a single finger.

They walked to the dance floor, smiling at Connie and Steve as they noticed that they’d joined them. The music was slow, sensual and Emma found herself wrapping her arms around Joel’s neck as she swung her hips to the music. He then grabbed her hips and spun her around so her back was flush against him as he placed kisses along her exposed neck. This made her core pulse with desire as she felt herself grinding her ass against him, feeling his own desire building as his hands at her waist to get her closer to him. She moved her head so that she could look at him and found a desire in his eyes that matched her own. Then, his lips crashed against hers. Kissing her with a passion that had her spinning on her heels and wrapping her arms around his neck so she could deepen it. His tongue probed at her lips and she opened them to allow him entry, feeling her heat rising as the kiss went on. As the song came to an end they pulled away, chest’s heaving as they looked at each other with lust-filled eyes.

‘Right well…’ Emma said as she steadied herself on her feet ‘I need another drink.’ She finished as she made her way to the bar.

Sitting herself on a stool, she waited to be served and watched as Joel made his way back to the booth where Connie and Steve were sat with Javier. Her eyes locked with his for a moment and she felt a pang of guilt as she looked away and back at the barman who was frantically serving people. She felt a hand settle on the small of her back and she turned her head to see Javier stood beside her. That look had returned to his eyes and it made her shiver but she dared not look away, waiting for him to speak.

‘What was that?’ he asked, lowering his mouth to her ear ‘Was that supposed to make me jealous?’

‘What the fuck are you talking about Peña?’ she spat, her expression changing as anger started to simmer ‘We broke up 4 months ago. I’m moving on just like you have.’

‘He seems like a good guy.’ he said suddenly, taking her by surprise.

‘He is.’ she replied ‘The best.’

Hurt filled his expression at her words, giving her only a nod and a weak smile as he then waited to be served also. Once they received their drinks they made their way back to the table where Joel lifted his arm for Emma to sit beside him before wrapping it around her and pulling her close, finishing with a soft kiss on her temple. Connie and Steve got up a few more times to dance and even Javier had been dragged up by a girl or two but Emma stuck to once as she’d agreed with Joel.

‘Right I think we need to get Connie back before she passes out.’ Sniggered Steve as he watched his wife’s eyes droop.

‘Lets.’ Javier agreed as he helped his partner take his wife outside and flag down a taxi.

As they pulled up to the apartment block the three agent’s shared, Javi quickly helped Steve carry the now very tired Connie up the stairs to their apartment before making his way to his own front door, watching the exchange between Emma and Joel out of the corner of his eye as he fumbled with his keys in the lock.

‘Night.’ he said simply, giving them a nod before retreating inside.

‘So I had a great night.’ Said Joel, his hands resting on Emma’s hips.

‘Me too.’ she replied, biting her lip as she plucked up the courage to speak ‘You can stay if you like. You’ve drunk too much to drive and all that…’

‘I can get a taxi then collect in my car in the morning, it’s fine.’ he said sweetly as he shrugged his shoulders.

‘But I’d like you to.’ she said as she hooked her fingers in his belt loops and pulled him closer.

‘I’d like to too.’ he replied as he kissed her again, starting slowly as he snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

Emma was the one to deepen the kiss this time, their tongues dancing as her hand palmed at his erection and shivering with delight at how large it felt. She turned her key in the door and dragged him inside, tugging him straight towards her bedroom as their kissing got more sloppy as they started to tug at each other's clothing.

‘Are you sure?’ he breathed as he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.

‘God yes.’ she replied as fumbled at the buttons of his shirt, pulling it open to reveal his toned muscles beneath.

She gawped at the sight as he delicately peeled off her dress and squeezed her now exposed breasts, eliciting a pleasured moan from her as she unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down over his hips along with his briefs. His Erection sprung free and she found herself licking her lips in anticipation before fingers under chin pulled her attention back to his dark eyes.

‘Like what you see?’ he asked as he placed kisses along her jaw and down her neck, smiling against her skin as she nodded in response.

Stepping out of her dress she pushed him roughly against the closed bedroom door, dropping to her knees as she grabbed his length and teased the tip with her tongue. Glancing up at him she grinned as she saw his head fall back against the door. Then she devoured him, moaning as her head bobbed and he grabbed a handful of blonde hair, spurring her on.

‘Fuck.’ he breathed as his hips bucked a little, causing him to hit the back for her throat and bring tears to her eyes.

She felt her arousal growing as she tasted his, the heat in her core becoming unbearable. Grabbing her shoulders, Joel pulled her to her feet and kissed her hungrily as he pushed her towards the bed, throwing her down when the back of her knees hit it. Dropping to his knees he pulled her legs apart and devoured her sex, working her skilfully with his tongue as his hands made their way farther up her thighs. Emma couldn’t help but let out a guttural moan as he slipped two fingers into her heat, curling them up and hitting that spot. It didn’t take long before her orgasm to wash over her, walls clenching against his thick fingers as her body convulsed from pleasure.

‘Please.’ she begged as she grabbed his face in her hands and pulled him towards her, kissing him hungrily as she begged ‘Please.’

He grinned at her as he finally gifted her what she wanted, the two of them moaning in unison as he filled her to the hilt. To Emma it felt like it lasted for hours, the man making her peak a further three times before finally letting himself have his own release. They then did it again in the shower before finally collapsing in her bed and succumbing to sleep in each other's arms. Emma was up before Joel, shuffling around in the kitchen to find something for the two of them to eat as she brewed a pot of coffee. She giggled as she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist, lips ghosting the skin of her neck as hands travelled down her toned body.

‘Morning.’ he growled, lightly nibbling the spot between her shoulder and her neck, making her knees go weak.

‘Morning.’ She smiled, letting her hear fall back against her shoulder as fingers stroked her sex.

’Want some breakfast?’ She asked, breath hitching in her throat as his fingers started to circle the sensitive bundle of nerves between her legs.

‘Definitely.’ was his reply as he slipped two fingers into her heat, holding her tightly to his chest as he pleasured her.

It didn’t take much to send her over the edge, a loud moan escaping her lips as he bent her over the counter and took her from behind. The position was so good it was almost too much, his length hitting her in just the right place and she soon felt herself edging closer again. Nothing but panting, moaning and swearing filled the air as he thrust into her with deadly accuracy, the two of them screaming together as they climaxed together. When they parted, Joel had to catch her as her legs buckled beneath her and she chuckled against his hard chest as she fought to regain her wits. Eventually, after cleaning herself up and pulling on some clothes, she managed to scrape together some breakfast for them before Joel left. A mixture of emotions running through her as she ate.

‘Well I guess I’ll see you on Monday.’ he said sweetly as he placed a gentle kiss on her swollen lips.

‘Yeah.’ she replied, giving him a small smile before seeing him out and watching him as he got into his truck and left, standing there for a few minutes as she pondered the events that had just transpired.

‘Sounds like you had an interesting morning.’ Came a voice from behind her, making her jump as she sought it out.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ she asked as Javier stepped into view.

‘The walls are thin partner.’ he replied, looking at her with that wounded expression again that made her heart shatter.

‘I don’t want to talk about this with you.’ She growled as she walked back up the steps and towards her door, strong hands on her waist stopping her before she made it through her front door.

‘Was he as good?’ he asked as he pulled her body against his, lips mere centimetres from hers as he spoke.

‘Javi.’ she breathed, eyes softening.

She wanted to pull away. She should pull away but the smell of him drove her mad, his cologne filling her senses as she stared into his dark eyes.

‘Did you like him better?’ he asked, his right hand running over her hip before cupping her sex ‘Tell me.’

‘Javi I…’ she couldn’t think straight as he palmed her, a new heat building that she knew she couldn’t resist.

‘Well?’ he continued, expertly unbuttoning her pants before slipping his hand inside.

Just this simple movement had her aching for him as she bit her lip to control the moan that threatened to slip from her. He roughly pushed her against the open door as he fingers slid into her heat, kissing her jaw before his lips stopped beside her ear.

‘Did you like him better?’ he growled, pumping his fingers into her with such perfection that she was hit with such a powerful climax that she had to grab his shoulders to stop her from falling

‘No Javi.’ she sobbed, moaning as his fingers road her through the waves of pleasure she found herself drowning in.

Grabbing her legs he lifted her, wrapped them around his waist and carried her to the couch, ripping her clothes off as she looked at him with a mixture of fear and excitement. He made quick work of his own clothes before positioning himself between her thighs and sheathing himself inside her. The guttural sound that escaped her was the most delectable sound he'd ever heard as he rocked his hips back and forth at a dizzying pace. The sex was like nothing they’d had together before. He managed to pull so many climaxes out of her that she ended up begging for him to finish, unable to take it anymore. When he finally spilt his seed inside her he allowed himself to kiss her, their tongues fighting for dominance as they collapsed into each other's arms. As they came down from their high, Javier shuffled himself so that he could hold her close to him, both laying there and pondering how weird it was, that it didn’t feel weird.

‘What was this Javi?’ she asked after a while, looking up into his eyes as he smiled down at her.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I take a guy home and fuck him.’ she started, the statement making Javier flinch a little ‘Then my ex-boyfriend fingers me in the lobby and we end up having the most incredible sex we’ve ever had. Why?’

Javier pinched the bright of his nose with his thumb and index finger as he thought about what to say. He formed the words carefully on his tongue as plucked up the courage to be completely honest with her. Nerves taking hold at the uncertainty of her reaction to it.

‘I haven’t slept with anyone since we broke up.’ he stated, watching Emma sit up in shock.

‘What?’ She asked as her eyes flew wide open ‘But the… all the women?’

‘Informants… I thought it safer for them to talk to me in my apartment. I never slept with any of them though.’ he replied ‘They offered but I… Well… I didn’t want to.’

‘Oh.’ said the female agent as she grabbed the throw from the back of the couch and pulled it over her shoulders, suddenly feels exposed ‘How did we end up so fucked up Javier?’ She sighed as she ran a hand over her face.

‘Honestly?’ he asked as he sat up so that they were eye level with each other ‘I didn’t want you to get rid of the baby.’ he admitted, tears gathering in his eyes ‘I only said you should because you told me it was for the best. I didn’t want to lose you so I decided that what you wanted was more important than what I-’

‘I didn’t want to either.’ She interrupted, tears slipping down her cheeks as she took his hand in hers ‘I thought I did at the time… But after it was done I realised that was it. I wasn’t pregnant anymore and the regret swallowed me whole.’

They sat in silence for a few minutes. The weight of their confessions hanging over them like an anvil swinging from a rope.

‘Can we work past this?’ He asked, kissing her shoulder softly ‘Because I… I would like to try. I want to try.’

Emma looked at him for a moment, her heart aching in her chest as she felt all her emotions bubble to the surface. All she could do was nod in reply as the tears started to pour from her eyes, curling into his warm chest as she sobbed.

‘I love you.’ he said as he kissed the top of her head ‘I don’t want to screw this up again.’ he finished, the statement drawing her eyes to his as he kissed her deeply.

‘I love you too Javi.’ she replied, smiling at him as the just held each other.


End file.
